Why I Remain: Rev. Jared Kendall

Pressing On - the stories of young(er) clergy

Happy Monday, friends and followers! I am grateful for you taking the time to read and share my Musings. Many probably may not be aware, but this is an exceptionally busy season in the life of my family and me.

We are currently in the process of transitioning to a new church “appointment.” In my United Methodist tradition, clergy serve at the discretion of the Bishop and are appointed (or sent) to local churches or other ministry contexts. We are in the midst of packing boxes, leaving one house, moving into a new one, starting new jobs and schools, and saying goodbyes and hellos all on top of Annual Conference, camps, intensives, sports, VBS, and doing all. of. the. things.

As a result, I will be paring back my summer Musings. I’ll share as I can here and probably a bit more over on And Can It Be? Re-meandering United Methodism. I look forward to staying in touch with you over the summer and reconnecting again more regularly on the other side!

And now, without further ado…

---

So, if you’ve been following along the past several weeks, I have been doing a little mini-series highlighting the stories of young(er) clergy and why they choose to continue in local church pastoral ministry.

I hope what they’ve shared has been encouraging, even hope-full for you. I know they have been for me. You see, one of the many difficult parts of the pandemic was “The Great Resignation” that followed it and seeing so many pastors, especially younger ones, leave traditional pastoral ministry. This is not a knock whatsoever against my friends, colleagues, and those whose callings and careers have changed. I hope you know how much you are missed, how much of a gift your current setting is to have someone has passionate, empathetic, and talented as you, and, should you ever feel pulled back to pastor a local church, how welcomed you will be!

Today concludes this mini-series, as I share with you four of the reasons why I continue to remain in church ministry:

• Therapists and Spiritual Directors

• The Local Church

• Institutions

• God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

Let’s start with the first.

THERAPISTS AND SPIRITUAL DIRECTORS

Truth-be-told, more than a few of my days, seasons, and counseling sessions have been spent considering leaving, not ministry so much, but “traditional” local church pastoral ministry.

Though it didn’t feel good at the time (and still doesn’t if I’m being honest), doors to different opportunities have either never opened for me or were closed on me. I imagine God had a hand in that.

But I couldn’t see God’s hand at the time, nor could I hear God’s voice. Not on my own at least.

Like many pastors, I regularly counsel people to not make any Big Decisions without first seeking God’s input - in prayer, in reading the scriptures, and in listening to the input of mature and wiser Christians.

I learned this early on through some spiritual direction I received from the Ignatian Tradition. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuit Order, cautioned individuals to not make significant changes when their spirits were in “desolation.” In his Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius writes:

In time of desolation, we should never make any change, but remain firm and constant in the resolution and decision which guided us the day before the desolation, or in the decision to which we adhered in the preceding consolation.  For just as in consolation the good spirit guides and counsels us, so in desolation the evil spirit guides and counsels.  Following his [the evil spirit’s] counsels, we can never find the way to a right decision.—Spiritual Exercises Rule I.5.

In my own seasons of discouragement, desolation, and decision-making, I have had to regularly remind myself to trust in my first calling, the one I received when my soul was in a state of, to use Ignatius’s word, “consolation.”

I also leaned on the voices and wisdom of others.

I needed their input when I could not hear God’s voice, see God’s face, or feel God’s presence on my own.

One of the forms this took for me in my own discernment process was seeking regular input from my therapist/spiritual director (she wears both hats and wears them well). I am so thankful for her and for the times she pushed me, helped me see things from different angles, and, especially, for the moments when she affirmed my thoughts and feelings.

I am still in pastoral ministry today thanks to my therapist and spiritual directors.

THE LOCAL CHURCH

I also continue pressing on because of the local church. And by “the local church,” I mean the people.

It’s been fun recalling so many times my family and I have been blessed by church people. During seminary, one of the churches I interned at surprised my wife and me with a trip to the beach, even booking us a hotel right on the water to enjoy a few days away together. Another church gave me a leather-bound hymnal and wrote encouraging notes inside its cover. I still use it every week 15+ years later and think fondly of my time with them. And then there was the one who bought me a very nice robe when I graduated. I think of them, too, every time I wear it. And I give thanks.

Through the years after seminary, there have been innumerable gifts, words of encouragement, gracious notes, thoughtful emails, yummy food when our babies were born or when we were moving, pieces of artwork I cherish, financial gifts that always seemed to come just when we needed a little extra, and we’ve received a little extra through the years when we haven’t needed it, instead getting to treat ourselves to something we wanted but could not otherwise have afforded.

This is barely scratching the service, not even yet touching on the many times the Church was there for me through my colleagues, superintendents, and bishops. When a congregant sent me a racist, xenophobic message, my bishop drove nearly 3 hours to encourage me and tell me face-to-face: “Do you hear me? Your bishop has your back.” I’m fighting back tears right now over how much that meant to me. For the superintendents who’ve pastored me through traumatic situations, and for my colleagues who listened and encouraged and commiserated with me through the years, I give God thanks.

For as many…let’s just say, less than gracious memories I’ve endured, those moments have been resoundingly outnumbered by ones full of kindness and generosity and love.

I’ve often said - and I truly mean it - I wish everyone could have the blessing of getting to be a United Methodist pastor. I wish everyone could be on the receiving end of “the Church at its best” as I have on so many occasions.

Time and time again, I have found the old hymn to be true, that: the church is not a building, the church is not a steeple, the church is not a resting place, the church is the people.

I thank God for the people of the church. I am still in pastoral ministry today because of them. Because of you.

INSTITUTIONS

Another reason I continue to be a pastor is because I’m a big proponent of institutions.

That is a strange thing to say at a time when when trust in institutions is “historically low.”

But it’s true, I like institutions, well…at least the good ones. I’ve been fortunate to have been part of many good ones. Say what you will about Big-C Church and denominations, but I am a Christian because, not in spite of, The United Methodist Church. I’m a Christian and a pastor thanks to other institutions started by the Church - such as the universities I attended for undergrad and graduate school, and the continuing ed opportunities I’ve enjoyed through the Wabash Pastoral Leadership Program, Leadership Education at Duke Divinity School, and the Engle Institute at Princeton Theological Seminary.

When oriented toward the direction of Good, Institutions can make powerful impacts that are not possible for lone rangers or smaller groups.

Their inertia makes them slow to turn. Sometimes that can be incredibly frustrating, like when long-standing churches are unable or refuse to pivot or adapt to the leading of the Spirit. It takes a long longer to turn around a cruise ship than it does a tug boat.

Other times, Institutional inertia can be a powerful force. Institutions often have greater bandwidth and a larger capacity to endure. They aren’t “blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning craftiness of people (Ephesians 4:14).” There’s a particular type of wisdom acquired through the years the new and young cannot yet know. Once oriented properly, the collective force of an Institution can truly move the needle on Big Issues and can even have an affect on making positive systemic changes.

I continue to be a pastor because I have a dream that, once pulling in Jesus-shaped direction, local churches, Districts, Conferences, and Denominations can make a powerful, Kingdom-sized impact on our communities, country, and even world. My own United Methodist Church has done that sort of institutional-leveraging work through the years in their building of hospitals and universities, the Imagine No Malaria initiative, and any time the people called United Methodist leverage their financial resources to respond with tangible love to care for the survivors of war, famine, and natural disaster.

I continue to be a United Methodist pastor because I believe in the unique and powerful work only institutions can do, particularly the institution called The United Methodist Church.

God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Fourth and most important, I continue to be a pastor because of God. And not just any god, but a particular God - the Three-In-One, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I was 13 years old when I first felt that God calling me to be a pastor in the United Methodist Church. And I will continue following that call until such time when God tells me to do otherwise.

I love God. I believe Jesus Christ is the hope of the world. And I continue to trust - even and especially when all seems to say otherwise - that God’s Spirit is healing and redeeming the world and is making all things new.

Pastoral ministry - like so many other professions - is not easy. But thank God, I don’t have to do it alone. God is with me. And so are you.

And, together, we will keep pressing on.